Perception

It’s one of the most misconstrued acts in today’s world and can cause controversy, missed chances of romance, friendship, promotions, and can change the outcome of people’s lives. What someone thinks of you is based on what they see, what they hear AND what they assume based on what they’ve seen and heard; and that is the part that I’m amazed by lately.

You have different levels of perception with the circle of people in your life. Ask yourself the following question; do the people in my life…….

Perceive me for who they knew me to be in the past?
Perceive me for who they want me to be?
Perceive me for who they need me to be?
Perceive me for whom I truly am and love me as I am?

If it’s any of the first three then chances are the relationship is not healthy. It’s only the last answer that you have a healthy relationship. I only have a limited number of people that I can say really, truly know me. Know me, get me and love me anyway.

When you’re at work you are perceived perhaps based on “blanket statements” that you make or people actually watch you and just assume things about you based on what you wear, things you have on your desk, items you purchase, the people you associate with (or date) and then they assume the rest. 80% of the time they are amazingly inaccurate on their assumptions about how you truly are at home and in your personal life.

“Never judge a book by its cover”, it’s a wonderful quote, but unfortunately everyone judges whether they like to admit it or not. The perception of others has become something I’m intrigued by even within family members. My family’s perception of me has always been completely off. They can’t help it; it’s just that they’ve known me all my life so that’s it – they think they know me and if I were to change it is hard for them to accept that I would actually change at some point in my life to a different type of person. Just because you acted a certain way at 20 yrs old doesn’t mean you will act this way at 40, but family members tend to think you will never change.

My personality ranges from classical music to rap, sappy love novels to horror novels, comedies to dramas, my range of interest are so vast my list would take up too much space to type, what is my true type of “soul mate”? Who knows, well I sort of know, but then again it varies doesn’t it? What I’m saying is I’m not the average, run of the mill, write it down once, and you’ll know her kind of girl, but if you were to ask my mom, she’d tell you she knows me inside and out. The true test however; I can bet you my house that I could ask my mom, my ex, my best friend and maybe my daughter and my sister to answer questions about me and if you read the answers you’d think you were reading answers about 3-4 different people. I truly feel people that I know perceive me totally different. Now, maybe a couple would answer the same as they fall into that fourth category up there that REALLY know me and get me, but for the most part perception is what people WANT to see in someone, not what they really are.

That is my point I guess, I think too often we take our friends, loved ones and we see in them what we need to see and what we need to get from them to love them instead of loving them for who they really are and seeing them for what they could give us. Think about this the next time you’re with that person you love. Try loving them for who they are and tell yourself, “I think this person is great, I should see them through their own eyes.” I bet you’ll be surprised what you really see and I bet you can open up a door of honesty that you never knew existed.