T-Shirt Slogans

My friend Jennifer gave these to me and they are GREAT!

1. "Unlike you, I carry a concealed weapon. A brain."
2. "My greatest fear is that there is no PMS and that this is my personality."
3. "Smiling on the outside, sneering on the inside."
4. "Please hold your applause until I finish my remarks."
5. "What do you mean what do I mean?"
6. "That's right. I am part of the problem."
7. "To say that you're losing it would imply that you had it to begin with."
8. "Yet, despite the look on my face, you are still talking."
9. "I'm not gossiping, I'm networking."
10. "I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing."
11. "Glasses will fix my eyes. Nothing will fix your ugly."
12. "I'm having a good day. Please stay out of it."
13. "It's not nice to laugh at other people. It's just fun."
14. "Maturity, wisdom, life experience. I'd trade it all for tight abs."
15. "Indifference. More than an attitude- a way of life."
16. "I'm not indifferent. I just don't care."
17. "Just because everyone is acting normal doesn't make it normal."
18. "Sarcasm. Just one more service I offer."
19. "Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid."
20. "Are you a side effect of my medication?"